Good afternoon everyone! I’m currently on a family vacation at Clearwater Beach in Florida. (Seeing as though I’m from Boston, this 85-degree weather is totally hitting the spot right about now.) So far, we’ve sunbathed, wined and dined, went out for a fresh seafood dinner, shared a drink by the water and ran on the sandy beach. Let’s just say I am 100% in vacation mode, and taking advantage of every little moment to the fullest.

But it wasn’t always that way. You see, back in my days of obsessive dieting and restriction, I used to fear vacations as they made me extremely uncomfortable. What would I eat for breakfast? What if I gained weight from going out to dinner every night? What if (god for bid) I missed a workout? How am I going to track my calories? How will I ever avoid the temptation of the beautiful buffet breakfast spread? What if the hotel room doesn’t have a scale? Do I look super fat in this bikini or what?

I was so busy worrying and obsessing about the “what ifs” that I missed out on simply being…on actually enjoying the fact that I was on “vacation.” And this wasn’t just limited to family vacations either. It’s pretty much how I lived my life. Put simply, I didn’t know how to take a break or turn myself “off.” I strived for perfection, and anything less than was simply not enough.

Can any of you relate to this type of behavior? If you struggle to give yourself (and your body) a break you’re most definitely not alone. Women in particular can be ridiculously hard on themselves, especially when it comes to their bodies. That being said, I find it extremely important–necessary even–to let go from time to time. Below, I share my top 5 insights on how I learned to give myself a break (and why you should to).

1. One Week of Imperfection Isn’t Going to Make You “Fat”: This is something that took me years to learn, but once I did I felt quite the relief. If you follow a healthy lifestyle filled with wholesome food and a good dose of exercise most of the time, one “off week” isn’t going to negate all your hard work. The first time that I tried letting go (and gave myself a real vacation) I actually lost a couple of pounds! Trust me, all the stress and guilt doesn’t do anything for your waistline either!

2. Cutting Back on Gym Time May Actually Make You Stronger: Have you ever taken a few days off from running, only to land yourself a big fat PR the next day? Or skimped on the gym for a week and returned feeling stronger than ever? Sometimes our bodies need these breaks to repair, restore and even build muscle, especially those go-go-go fitness buffs out there. Allow yourself the occasional vacation from exercise, and you’ll be surprised by how much stronger you return. On your “rest week,” feel free to go for a light jog, walk or even take a restorative yoga class. Just don’t stress out about it if you miss a day! It’s going to be OK.

3. Taking a Break Allows For Mental Clarity: Some of my best ideas and articles have come to me during a vacation week. That’s because I’m not inundated with emails, texts or all technology for that matter. When we allow ourselves to fully let go and wind down, the creative juices begin to flow. Go ahead…try it. Even if you aren’t going away on a magical tropical getaway, make an effort to “unplug” for an entire day to see how it feels.

4. You’re Able to Turn Inwardly & Listen to Your Body: When we’re not stressing about food, weight, calories, our next workout (or our next meeting), it forces us to look within. In turn, it allows you to pay attention and really listen to your body. Instead of worrying so much about being “perfect,” you can make decisions based on what’s right for you in the moment.

5. It’s More Fun!: You’re on vacation, for goodness sake! Go ahead and have some fun…live a little! Have that chocolate martini (if you really want it), pass on your daily treadmill run (if you feel like it), ignore your 100+ emails, and don’t be afraid to indulge. No need to feel guilty about it either! That’s the beauty of vacation.

Do you have trouble giving yourself a break? What was your #1 takeaway from this post? If you struggle with compulsive dieting or the need to be  ”perfect,” my new 90-Day Program “Ditch Dieting, Fall in Love with Yourself” may be for you! I’d love to schedule a free info session with you today to learn more. 

A body like this isn’t made by using one of those “toning” workouts you saw on the cover of a magazine.

When it comes to starting a new workout or fitness plan, there are certainly an abundance of options to choose from.  With enough varieties and variations out there to make your head spin, does finding the “right” plan feel like an overwhelming challenge in and of itself?  Naturally, you want something that works – there’s nothing worse than starting a plan that ends up being little more than a time-waster; crafted by some teenage meathead living in his mom’s basement, and passed off as expert knowledge.  On the opposite end of the spectrum, just because a fitness plan is emblazoned in bold ink on the front of a magazine or is coming from a celebrity trainer, doesn’t mean it’s going to work.  You’ve got to pay attention and read between the lines, and one such catch-phrase you’ve got to be weary of is the classic “Toning Workout”.  Today, we’re going to look at what a “toning” workout really is, show you want to avoid it at all costs, and give you something in its place.

What “Toning” Really Means

First and foremost, you’ve got to understand what toning really means.  Poorly educated trainers and snake-oil salesmen/women will often tell you toning is the result of light weights and high reps.  Alternatively, they’ll mention heavy weight and low reps add bulk.  This is bullshit.  If someone tries to tell you this, stop listening, divert their attention, and make a quick escape.  What they’re feeding you is nonsense fitness information that continues to leave people confused, frustrated, and left with poor results.

First off, all “toning” really means is a reduction of body fat.  When someone says they want to look “toned”, they really mean they want to look more defined.  They want shapely arms, legs, core…fill in the blank.  To achieve this defined appearance, there needs to be a reduction of body fat covering the muscle.  The arms of a person with 12% body fat look a heck of a lot different from a pair of arms dangling off a body covered in 30% body fat.  And no, it’s not because they are doing different strength exercises….it’s because the body fat covers up any definition, or “tone”.

Why Toning Workouts Suck Reason #1: They’re Single-Minded

While strength exercises will go a ways in helping you spike your metabolism, they don’t do much for immediate caloric burn or reduction of body fat.  In order to get that “toned” appearance, one must include consistent (and intense) bouts of cardio into their routine.  It’s amazing how many “toning” workouts fail to include any element of cardiovascular work – far too often they focus on simple, isolation exercises (think tricep kickbacks).  This is a sure-fire way to put in a bunch of effort and get little to nothing in return.

If you want to get lean and defined, you’ve got to burn more calories than you currently are.  Adopting a HIIT themed cardio plan, adding in a couple of intense lift days a week, and maintaining a clean diet are three great steps you can take towards achieving the appearance you want.  Isolation exercises which focus on one tiny muscle group at a time do little for your immediate caloric burn OR your long term metabolic spike.  In short, they’re wasting your time.

Why Toning Workouts Suck Reason #2: They’re Too Simple

These “toning” workouts you see plastered on the front of magazines or on infographics around the web are created to be easy to understand, easy to complete, and easy to share with a friend.  Unfortunately, all this ease is designed to suck you in, get you to stick with the program, and pass along to another unfortunate soul.  They are NOT designed to produce real results.  These workouts are created for people with little to no fitness knowledge, who assume because it’s coming from an authority figure, it has to work.

It’s much easier to tell someone to do 15 bicep curls followed by 15 tricep kickbacks than it is to instruct someone to superset 8 heavy deadlifts with 10 upright rows.  The job of these eye-catching “toning” workouts is to sell more magazine copies or land more page views.  When things are clean, simple, and easy to complete, they’re more likely to catch on with the masses – but please don’t mistake this for thinking they’re more likely to actually work.

Why Toning Workouts Suck Reason #3: They Forget Your Metabolism

The “toning” workouts you come across more or less concern themselves with the things they know YOU are thinking.

“Well, if I do lots of bicep curls, I’ll have toned arms”.

Like clockwork, they give you lots of bicep curls.

But these type of workouts forget an important piece of the puzzle – your metabolism.  As I briefly mentioned above, while strength training won’t do a ton for immediate caloric burn, it more than makes up for that with the effects it has on your metabolic fire.  This comes with one caveat – strength training needs to be done RIGHT to have any sort of effect on that metabolism.  Doing little isolation work isn’t going to get it done.  What you need is a series of compound lifts, preferably performed with a weight that brings you to the brink of all out muscle fatigue.

Exercises like deadlifts, squats, bench presses, and bent over rows are all examples of compound exercises.  These movements target more muscle groups in your body, contribute to elevating your heart, and when mixed in with some uptempo cardio, can do wonders for your EPOC.  Bottom line, if you’re looking to get ripped up and looking great, you’ve got to include a healthy dose of heavy, compound lifts in your fitness routine.

Why Toning Workouts Suck Reason #4: They’re All Fluff

As I’ve alluded to above, these “toning” workouts are designed to look pretty and be incredibly easy to follow.  No serious exerciser would genuinely follow along with any one of the workouts found in on the cover of those health magazines that line the shelves of your grocery store check-out lanes.  Now, being a “serious” exerciser doesn’t mean you’re fit – it simply means you have a base of knowledge that allows you to steer clear of the nonsense that is the modern-day “toning” workout.

Heed the actions of people who know better – if they’re staying away, you should too.  While there are few black and white answers in the fitness world, it’s safe to say you should probably follow the lead of those who know better.  You’ll never see a professional fitness competitor using a “toning” workout to get cut up before a show.  Nor will you see that really fit guy or girl at your gym using this bogus crap.  Find yourself a fitness source you can identify with and trust.  Maybe it’s here on our blog, maybe it’s somewhere else.  The point is, you need to vet whoever you take your fitness information from very carefully, and be sure to steer clear from the quacks.

Why Toning Workouts Suck Reason #5: They Forget About Diet

These toning workouts are often paired with low-calorie/low-carbohydrate diet plans that again, play on the sensitivities of their audiences.  A bunch of easy, light lifts, couple with a low-calorie diet is key to spinning your wheels and absolutely going nowhere.  Sadly, this is what a bulk of women WANT to see.  They want someone to tell them doing their easy at home strength exercises with their dinky 5 pound weight will make a difference.  They WANT someone to tell them not eating will help get them toned up.  More often than not, people simply want their personal choices validated by a seemingly knowledgeable authority figure.

This is the trap so many fall into.  When it comes to your workout plan, whatever it is, you must understand it needs to be paired with a great diet.  A great diet means avoiding the crap you know you shouldn’t be eating (sugar, fried foods, simple carbs) and loading up on the good stuff (lean protein, veggies, fruit, fiber).  Remember, muscle doesn’t grow out of thin air – if you want to see some results from all the lifting you’ve been doing, you’ve got to fuel yourself properly.  The greatest workout in the world is worthless when paired with a poorly fueled body.

So for all you guys and girls out there wanting to get “toned”, ripped, lean, shredded, defined, or whatever buzz word you like to use, we’ve got you covered.  Consider this a general, anti-toning workout, which will lead to great muscular definition, defined abs, and an overall improvement in your health and fitness levels.

• Day 1: HIIT Cardio/Hill Sprints – Switch between :30 sprints and 1:30 jogs.  Gradually bump the incline of your treadmill or find a nice hill and continue with the back-and-forth tempo for 20-40 minutes, depending on your current abilities.
• Day 2: MetCon Challenge
• Day 3: Do something awesome to help add flexibility and strength – YOGA.  Check out our OnDemand library of full-length yoga classes.
• Day 4: HIIT Cardio/HIIT Biking – Let’s go with that :30/1:30 sprint interval for 15 minutes.  Next, jump on a stationary bike and go for something a little shorter interval – use a :30 sprint/:45 second relaxed pace interval for an additional 20-30 minutes.
• Day 5: Take a look at this list of The 8 Best Exercises you Should be Doing, but Probably Aren’t.  Combine these eight movements into one killer workout.  Shoot for 8-10 reps of three to four sets per exercise.

Take in enough protein, give yourself ample rest time, and stay consistent.  You do those things, in conjunction with the above sample plan, and you’ll be well on your way to that tight and “toned” body you’ve been seeking.

Fat and happy…or just fat?

It’s a problem that’s all too common.  When people are single and still on the hunt, they’ve got motivation to keep in tip top shape (or at least, their version of tip top shape).  While you’re mom may think your squishy little beer belly is adorable, I’d be willing to bet the fairer sex has other thoughts.  So you’re working out, doing your thing, heeding the call of your inner beast, generally trying to position yourself as the highest quality mate.  Congratulations, you’re making at least half an effort.

But then it happens.  Maybe it’s by chance, maybe that intensive 3-day serial dater bootcamp seminar is paying it’s dividends, or maybe you’re actually not half bad; in any case, you’ve landed yourself a significant other.  What a relief, you think to yourself – now you don’t have to worry about dying alone, pathetic, and miserable! Ehhhh…maybe, maybe not.

So things are going great and life has never been better.  But around the sixth month mark, things start to get a little comfortable….some may say, a little too comfortable.  You’ve backed off going to the gym five days a week.  Your meals have gradually moved from being mostly green and fresh to whatever comes out of that box in the freezer.  You’re slowly losing your desire to stay in that “top dog” shape.

Sloth’s are cool and all…but I don’t really want to date one…

But it’s not all your fault.  Perhaps your boyfriend/girlfriend also shares some of the blame.  Are their bad habits rubbing off on you?  Did her mostly salad diet turn into mostly carbs after she met you?  Does he/she like staying in bed until noon every weekend?  Well, there goes your early morning bike rides.  Is he/she okay ordering off the bar menu when you go out to watch the game…rather than waiting for a healthier option elsewhere?

For many couples, the problem only gets worse as time wears on.  As you head into year two, the gym may be a distant memory of the past.  Fried sampler platters at T.G.I.Friday’s are becoming all too familiar.  Your significant others poor taste in food has you eating at the Cheesecake Factory or P.F. Chang’s more than you’d like to admit…….and what’s worse, you’re actually starting to think their food is good too.  What’s become of you?  You’ve become a slovenly, pathetic ghost of the happy, fit, and healthy person you used to be.

Fortunately for you, this isn’t the end of the road – you’ve still got time to get things under control.  You’ve got a couple of options.  First, you could slowly, but surely guilt them into changing.  Call them fat, make them feel bad about themselves, mention how great his/her friends have been looking lately, disapprovingly look them up and down and then say “oh, nothing…” when they ask what you’re looking at.  Over time, this passive aggressive approach will either produce the results you want or completely blow up in your face.  I’m making no guarantees, so let me know how it works for you.

If that approach doesn’t fit your fancy, there may be another way to bring about a little change in your relationship.  Check out these 5 tips to get things moving in the healthy direction again….

1. Make a plan together.  By virtue of having a significant other, you’re always going to have that workout partner, or at the very least, someone to hold you accountable.  Come up with a plan and do your best to hold each other accountable for what you set out to do.
2. Go shopping together.  When one person goes shopping alone, far too often they’ll end up buying a bunch of crap they know they shouldn’t….and you’ll end up eating it anyways.  When you go shopping, it’s like having a little checks and balance system – discuss each purchase and decide if it’s going to help or hurt you reach your goals.
3. Seek out new things to do.  Challenge each other to break free from old routines.  Pick up some new (active) hobbies and get out there and do them.  Sleeping until noon every Saturday and Sunday is lame, and you know it.  Don’t let your boy/girlfriend bring you down.  Get them excited about something you’re interested in, and go at it full force.
4. Hold mini-contests. Doesn’t matter what they are, just do something to keep your competitive juices flowing.  Maybe it’s a little weight loss challenge, or clean eating test.  It doesn’t matter.  The point is, when you’re living with someone else it’s easy to create a little healthy competition which may end up getting your lifestyle back on track.
5. Dump them. Yup, that’s right.  Dump them.  Kick them to the curb.  If you’re with a person who constantly brings you down, lazes around all day on the couch, enjoys eating fried stuff that used to make you cringe, and is generally a living, breathing, landfill….ditch the dud.  Of course, you should probably give them a chance to change, but if they won’t, you know what to do.  You’ll be so much better off once you free yourself of that unhealthy mess, I doubt you’ll miss them once they’re gone.

At the end of the day, you’ve got to take your life in your own hands.  Don’t let a sloth of a significant other bring you down.  You are your own person – and just maybe seeing you improve your habits will light a fire under your significant others squishy butt.  Take change, get your life back, and do what you’ve got to do to be the healthy and happy person you once were.

She knows what she needs to overcome to be successful….do you?

Have you ever wondered why some people are so successful and others are stuck wading through a sea of mediocrity?  What is it about them that allows them to make the jump from average to awesome?  As we examine today, that something is very small, very subtle, and very hard to accept…but once it’s been engrained in your mindset, it will help you unlock your fullest potential.

It’s something we all hit.  From the wildly successful to the abysmal failures, no one is immune.  It is the reason most people fail to reach their goals.  The difference between the wildly successful and the abysmal failures of course, is how they deal with it.  And how you deal with it is simply the product of your mindset.

But let’s back up a second – what the hell am I even talking about, and more importantly what is, “it”?  If you’ve ever attempted to lose weight, you’ve experienced “it”.  If you’ve ever tried to increase your bench press, you know all about “it”.  If you’ve tried to pass a tough class, get better at shooting a basketball, or cook meals your family doesn’t want to feed to the dog under the table when your head is turned, you’ve experienced “it”.

“IT” is the feeling that the efforts you’re putting in aren’t doing you any good.  Have you been stuck on a certain weight, or plateau for a while now, and feel like you’ve “maxed out” your progress?  Does each gym session feel as if it’s not making a difference – as if you could go to the gym, or not go to the gym, and nothing would change?  This is what I’m talking about.  And this feeling is the reason so many people burn out, abandon the set course, quit, and ultimately fail.

It’s understandable after all.  Who wants to kill themselves in the gym, or maintain a strict diet, if in the end it’s not going to make one lick of difference.  “Screw it, I’m not losing weight anyways.”  Ever have that thought?

When confronted with this feeling of helplessness, most people will do one of two things:

• Get so frustrated and completely quit altogether.
• Jump from plan to plan or diet to diet, looking for the one that “works”

Obviously if you’re simply quitting, you’re failing.  Not much more needs to be said there.  For the impatient group that is constantly jumping from one thing to the next, failure comes because nothing is given enough time to work.  This leads to a very important concept in all of this – and something very successful individuals realize…

Your efforts are going to deliver diminished returns – know this, expect this, prepare for this.

Going from coach potato to someone with an average fitness ability is going to come quickly. Recall the TV show, The Biggest Loser for a second.  Ever notice how much weight these people lose at the very beginning? Dropping 10, 20, or 30 pounds in a given week isn’t completely uncommon.  That’s because they’ve got a LONG way to go.  As you progress, making noticeable changes takes more time and effort.

More Work, Less Return

Four years of training didn’t teach him to double-check his shoelaces were tied.

Those that forget this very important fact are the ones who feel as if their efforts are useless.  Your efforts aren’t useless, the results are just more minute; harder to recognize.  Nonetheless, consistent and sustained efforts will eventually lead to noticeable change.  Whether it’s a gradually improved physique or an ability to shoot a basketball better, the work you put in is contributing towards that goal, even when it doesn’t seem like it.

Think about this – at the highest of levels, the difference between an Olympic champion and a last-place no-namer can literally be separated by hundredths of a second.  These people work years to make up a few hundredths of a second.  Remember THIS the next time you “only” lost half a pound in a week, or increased your bench press by a “measly” 5 pounds.

This all boils down to mindset.  How you deal with the diminishing returns of your efforts will become the greatest indicator of your successes.  Do you get frustrated and disappointed your progress has stalled, or do you focus on the fact you’re slowly but surely pushing the ball in the right direction?  This is what separates the physical specimens you see walking around the gym from everyone else.  I admit, great genetics helps too, but let’s not lose sight of the point at issue.

Have Some Faith

What I’m telling you to do, is simply put faith into the science behind what you’re doing.  If you started off on our Total Body Blitz workout and have now progressed to something like our HIIT Training Plan, but are getting slightly annoyed your progress isn’t moving along as fast as you’d like – take a step back, take a breath, trust the science behind what you’re doing, and recommit yourself fully.  Keep at it, and over time, you’ll gradually notice the results of your sustained efforts.

This is where one big caveat that comes into play however - trusting the science won’t do you a bit of good if it’s bad science.  Sticking to any plan isn’t going to work if the plan sucks.  Or the diet sucks.  Or your study habits suck.  Be mindful of where you’re getting your information.  Make sure it’s a trusted source and not a fly-by-night personal trainer or “nutrition expert” dishing out shoddy recommendations.  Assuming you’ve weeded out the nonsense and have found something of worth, revert back to the previous paragraph and simply put your faith in the system as it has been designed.  No more jumping from one game plan to the next – pick one that works, follow the plan, and be consistent.

That’s it.  That’s all I’ve got for you today.  It really can be that simple.  Overcoming the “burn out” feeling or desire to bounce from one thing to the next is what’s going to unlock your true potential and help you realize your dreams.  I admit, easier said then done.  There are times even I question what I’m doing, or wonder if I should mix things up.  Fortunately, I’ve been able to put my head down and continue to do work, and that’s why I’ve been able to achieve the things I have.  Once you figure out how to do the same, you’ll truly understand the meaning of “the sky’s the limit”.